On Monday I returned to daily journaling after a few years of choosing wine and easy tv viewing over reliving my stress on paper. It's a long story and I'll tell it in bits and pieces, but for now I'll just pat myself on the back for finding pen & paper again.
You know when you learn about someone kind of reinventing themselves later in life and wonder "wow, will that happen to me?" Like Julia Child who didn't start cooking until 36 (here's a fun list of artists who started late). Well I always thought they just kind of woke up one day and BANG... epiphanies were had and life was changed.
Shocking twist: I'm learning this is not how it works. Instead, at least for me, it's about becoming more comfortable with oneself over time. I'm stripping away at all the ideas of who I should be based on outside influences, fear, whatever, and getting to the core of who I really am.
I went through a phase with journaling where I saw how other people were doing it, and started to hold myself up to a standard. - Be more creative! Draw more pictures! Fill every page! Have perfect penmanship! - (the same thing happened with blogging: post daily stuff! always have projects! do a contest!.. ugh) My latest life lesson, and it's been a great weight off my back, has been to let go and just do me. In this case, put the pen to paper and do whatever I want. It's not for anyone but me, and it's more about the process than the end result.
I'm buddhist as fuck.
Related sidenote: Flying Tiger has a new brick & mortar a couple blocks from my office in the Flatiron district. Go to there. Spend your $1 bills with glee! It's where I found the above journal and the below sunglasses case.
I feel VERY grown up housing my shades in a case since I normally toss them in my bag willy nilly... Can you even?! WILLY NILLY! I'm so ashamed!